How can I (and you!) forget?

Lately I have been thinking what I fear the most is I would "forget" what I deem most important in life. I noticed I am not as emotional as a month ago as days go by. I have to keep reminding myself it cannot be due to my "forgeting" my Mom. When people asked me to forget about the past and keep looking ahead, I was close to the point of being offended. Yes we have to look to the future but we definitely cannot afford to forget the past.

The same thing goes with what happened 20 years ago. People start to justify by saying look at what China has achieved these 20 years and we should just let go of the past. Ok people got richer and the country looks fancier with the Olympics and being the world factory and whatnot. But are people smarter? Are people freer? The fear tactics and the silent treatments still disgust me. Sorry this is no 60s or 70s when the cultural revolutionary mentality still worked. We have the internet and records of the past that are widely available. A country as big as China with no guts to face history and even trying to blindfold and silence people with lies is just cowardy and should have no place in the world stage. Just thinking about such a country likely being the next world superpower is simply bone chilling.

蔡子強, a professor from my alma mater puts it well:
"一個怯懦得無法面對自己過去、面對自己歷史的民族，它將不會有足夠的力量，去巍然聳立於天地之間，面對未來。A faint-hearted nation that cannot face its past and its history will not have enough strength to stand tall in this world to face the future."

No, I won't forget. I just can't.

Angry Chinese?

I almost became one myself because of totally different reasons (read on for explanations below). With the approaching of the olympics in less than 100 days as well as the chain of events lately such as the torch relays, deporting Danish sculptor Galschiot of the "Pillar of Shame" from Hong Kong (how fit the title it is for such action by the HK, and possibly PRC governments), and protests for different causes in all corners of the world, China is under unprecedented scrutiny as a host of such a worldwide event. I've read a few insightful and interesting articles including the Economist and the National Geographic. I just want to say both China and its people (counting myself in) really need to learn to be good hosts to the world despite all the "oppositions". This is the price of presenting oneself a prominent role on the world stage. It seems the nation as a whole has already partially failed the test by overreacting to the "negative press" from the West and the zealous Chinese citizens trying to silence any voices not supportive of the Chinese Olympics or the PRC's Tibetan policies. Bear in mind almost every single Olympic host countries have taken their shares of criticism and the success pretty much lies in how poised and mature the countries acted politics-wise. Imagine how "excited" many of the Westerners, especially the French, would be to come visit China now for the Olympics without worrying being "attacked".

Back to more personal issues. These past couple days I have been very bothered and troubled by certain behaviors of one particular mainland Chinese colleague but after much thought, I realized I have gained insights from those Chinese articles that instead of being an angry Chinese myself, I just need to keep on carrying out my duties 100% to stay blameless on my part and not to lose my cool. And there sure is a price to pay for being in a leadership position that one is proned to criticism, whether constructive or not. And I am a true believer of Karma that you reap what you sow, as can be seen in the fact that a few "troublemakers" in our department are gone now...

When everything turns red...

First of all don't get me wrong, this is not meant to be China-bashing being Chinese myself but I think we do need to be honest with ourselves when it comes to certain important issues.

Back in high school my least favorite subject was Chinese history and I totally sucked at it. It is not that I hated the subject but it was the way it was presented was totally uninspiring and dull. These days I have been studying quite a bit and have taken a good look and thinking about what have happened especially in the past 50 or so years in the "motherland". I am fascinated at the turn of the events but at the same time many of the things are plain depressing.
Maoist cult, the Great Leap Forward, Cultural Revolution, June-Fourth, corruption, pollution, human rights, SARS, Darfur, AIDS, economic disparity, religious freedom, news censorship, industrial hazards, peasant uprising... the list goes on and on that all the problems past and present cannot be covered under the disguise of "economic prosperity and social stability". I just hope everyone can take the courage to face the naked truth of what really is going on and what matters most to both individuals and the nation as a whole. I applaud Spielberg for his courage to use his power and influence to step up and tell the truth. Even my favorite grocery store Trader Joe's is doing something about it. It just gives me chills to see the big red Communist China become the next superpower while it preserves many of its irrational mentality, ideology, and behavior from the past. All we can do is to keep our fingers crossed things can improve when people are enlightened, especially with the free flow of information on the internet and the advancement of technology...